jamesoff.net

134

Random Recipe Generator

Below is a randomly-generated recipe!

Sprigs Of Asparagus Melt Bagels

Serves 1

You will need:

4 oranges
5 sprigs of asparagus
40ml mint sauce
110g sugar

Instructions:

pre-heat the oven to 180 C
fry the sprigs of asparagus
grill the mint sauce
mix the sprigs of asparagus in
flip the sprigs of asparagus
fry the oranges until browned
add the mint sauce
fry the sugar until browned
bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

Insufficiently delicious? Reload the page for another.

Permalink

134 comments on “Random Recipe Generator”

27
Aug
2008
17:19
Posted by X3HaloEd (Permalink)

Hahahaha! This is what I got:

You will need:
```
* 10ml white wine
* 1 onions
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. put the white wine in the saucepan
3. lightly fry the white wine
4. microwave the white wine
5. microwave the white wine
6. discard the onions
7. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
I don’t think there will be any wine left after all the frying, microwaving, and baking, and certainly no onions left. This recipe leaves you with nothing, lol
18
Nov
2008
08:56

Posted by Tab (Permalink)

“Red Onions Creme Brulee Serves 1

You will need: 4 spring onions 20ml brandy 5 red onions 130g basmati rice 130ml water

Instructions: 1.sauté the brandy 2.lightly fry the brandy 3.discard the brandy 4.defrost the basmati rice 5.fry the water until browned 6.flambe the water 7.saute the water 8.fry the red onions until browned 9.heat the red onions 10.whisk the spring onions 11.enjoy “

I laughed until my face hurt.
18
Nov
2008
11:18
Posted by herp (Permalink)

Anchovies Creme Brulee Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 1 cabbages
* 120g anchovies
* 100g kidney beans
* 1 pork chops
* 60ml hot pepper sauce
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 190 C
2. throw the pork chops away
3. slice the cabbages
4. heat the cabbages
5. grill the anchovies
6. melt the anchovies
7. rinse the kidney beans
8. microwave the cabbages
9. toast the hot pepper sauce
  1. bake for 40 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
18
Nov
2008
17:46

Posted by CookingUncle (Permalink)

Pizza Style Mangoes Serves 1 You will need: 1 mangoes 2 cucumbers Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 200 C discard the mangoes toast the cucumbers bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

Wait, what?
19
Nov
2008
00:13
Posted by convincing name (Permalink)

Here’s the best recipe I have found so far with this:

Coffee And White Wine Pudding Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 130ml white wine
* 80ml coffee
```
Instructions:
1. sauté the white wine
2. fry the white wine
3. bring the white wine to the boil
4. simmer the white wine gently for 20 minutes
5. sprinkle the white wine over the top
6. flambe the white wine
7. simmer the white wine gently for 20 minutes
8. mix the white wine in
9. discard the white wine
  1. whisk the coffee
  2. serve piping hot
19
Nov
2008
00:20

Posted by Mooky (Permalink)

Great Recipe..Will try tonight!!

Horseradish Sauce Bake Serves 2 You will need: 80ml horseradish sauce 4 spring onions 2 bananas Instructions: eat the spring onions eat the bananas whisk the horseradish sauce go down to the pub
19
Nov
2008
00:45

Posted by I like recipes alot (Permalink)

Slices Of Bread Mille Feuille Serves 5 You will need: 4 pinches of salt 40ml whipped cream 5 slices of bread Instructions: slice the slices of bread barbeque the pinches of salt flip the pinches of salt flip the pinches of salt fry the whipped cream until browned put everything in the blender

Just be sure you don’t forget to slice your slices of bread!
19
Nov
2008
02:28
Posted by phot (Permalink)

mmm i love creme brulee

Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix Creme Brulee Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 1 packets of dry onion soup mix
* 10ml soy sauce
* 70ml white wine vinegar
* 10ml hot pepper sauce
* 40g ginger
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. slice the packets of dry onion soup mix
3. saut� the packets of dry onion soup mix
4. eat the packets of dry onion soup mix
5. stir-fry the soy sauce
6. mix the soy sauce in
7. simmer the soy sauce gently for 20 minutes
8. fry the soy sauce
9. sift the hot pepper sauce
  1. slice the white wine vinegar
  2. barbeque the ginger
  3. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
19
Nov
2008
03:44
Posted by Slam (Permalink)

Orange Juice And Lime Pudding Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 2 lime
* 90ml orange juice
```
Instructions:
1. grill the orange juice
2. mix the orange juice in
3. slice the lime
4. throw it all away
19
Nov
2008
04:10

Posted by Billy (Permalink)

I need to figure out how to ’slice’ lemonade…

Spiced Poached White Wine Serves 4 You will need: 120ml white wine 2 sprigs of asparagus 60ml lemonade Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 230 C put the white wine in the saucepan slice the lemonade sprinkle the lemonade over the top add the lemonade to the saucepan defrost the sprigs of asparagus bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
19
Nov
2008
04:24
Posted by some dude (Permalink)

Spicy Cloves Of Garlic Cakes Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 4 cloves of garlic
* 5 eggs
```
Instructions:
1. rinse the eggs
2. slice the cloves of garlic
3. order out
Yum.
19
Nov
2008
04:46
Posted by Jimmy (Permalink)

I think this one’s the most enjoyable/impossible. I especially enjoy the mental picture of sifting lard. It’s like something you tell you 6 year old nephew to do so he’ll stop bothering you.

You will need:
```
* 60ml water
* 140g lard
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. fry the water until browned
3. grind the water
4. sift the lard
5. bake for 40 minutes and serve hot
19
Nov
2008
05:13
Posted by slicked kidney beans anyone? (Permalink)

Lemons Salsa Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 2 lemons
* 20g kidney beans
```
Instructions:
1. slice the kidney beans
2. add the kidney beans to the saucepan
3. throw the lemons away
4. enjoy
Yum.

Insufficiently delicious? Reload the page for another.
19
Nov
2008
06:01
Posted by lol (Permalink)

Lemonade And Lard Pudding Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 50ml lemonade
* 100g lard
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. grill the lemonade
3. sprinkle the lemonade over the top
4. stir-fry the lard
5. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
19
Nov
2008
06:42
Posted by someguy (Permalink)

Tabasco Sauce Melt Bagels Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 30ml tabasco sauce
* 60g kidney beans
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. defrost the kidney beans
3. fold in the kidney beans
4. put the tabasco sauce in the saucepan
5. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
19
Nov
2008
12:41
Posted by Coast_Of_Yemen (Permalink)

Strawberries Salad Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 80g strawberries
* 2 lettuces
```
Instructions:
1. defrost the strawberries
2. heat the strawberries
3. discard the lettuces
4. go down the pub
To be honest, this pretty much describes my normal cooking procedure anyway
19
Nov
2008
14:28

Posted by Random recipe generator - Gamingforce Interactive Forums (Permalink)

[...] (permalink) of 1 Random recipe generator jamesoff.net Random Recipe Generator Can’t decide what to eat? Use the random recipe generator. Most of the results are pretty funny, [...]
19
Nov
2008
21:00

Posted by Random recipe generator - FileFront Gaming Forums (Permalink)

[...] recipe generator jamesoff.net � Random Recipe Generator This is completely epic. [...]
19
Nov
2008
23:21

Posted by vian (Permalink)

This is genius! Very well done indeed!

rushes off to try Whipped Cream a la Ham
20
Nov
2008
06:49
Posted by Joyce (Permalink)

Hehe, I got a “Self-Raising Flour Sandwich” and a “water with water crust”. One of them gave me 5 lemons then said to eat them.

Oxo Cubes Crumble Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 130ml coffee
* 4 lamb chops
* 30ml soy sauce
* 90ml lemonade
* 3 oxo cubes
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 190 C
2. eat the lamb chops
3. rinse the soy sauce
4. heat the soy sauce in the saucepan
5. stir-fry the oxo cubes
6. fry the oxo cubes
7. add the oxo cubes
8. grind the soy sauce
9. heat the oxo cubes
  1. saut� the oxo cubes
  2. rinse the lemonade
  3. slice the coffee
  4. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
And here, look, this one just leaves chilled toasted port! You will need:
```
* 100g port
* 50g pickle
* 2 sweetcorn
```
Instructions:
1. toast the pickle
2. sprinkle the pickle over the top
3. discard the pickle
4. discard the sweetcorn
5. toast the port
6. serve chilled
20
Nov
2008
09:29

Posted by Curtis Lassam » Blog Archive » Random Recipe Generator (Permalink)

[...] As generated by… [...]
20
Nov
2008
14:17
Posted by anonymous (Permalink)

Sprouts Creme Brulee Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 5 lamb chops
* 1 oranges
* 40g sprouts
* 130ml cod liver oil
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. fry the oranges until browned
3. discard the oranges
4. whisk the sprouts
5. flambe the sprouts
6. add the sprouts to the saucepan
7. bring the sprouts to the boil
8. lightly fry the sprouts
9. put the sprouts in the fridge to set
  1. flip the sprouts
  2. spoon the sprouts onto a warmed plate
  3. discard the sprouts
  4. fry the cod liver oil
  5. eat the lamb chops
  6. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
Yum.

tl/dr? fuck sprouts. massacre them. send them straight to hell. Just eat the lamb.
20
Nov
2008
21:20

Posted by Dude (Permalink)

This site makes me hungry!
21
Nov
2008
02:30

Posted by inverse_spiral (Permalink)

Orange Juice Supreme Serves 4 You will need: 110ml orange juice 40ml whipped cream 2 chillis Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 180 C grill the orange juice bring the orange juice to the boil fry the orange juice heat the orange juice whisk the orange juice add the orange juice flambe the orange juice discard the orange juice barbeque the chillis microwave the whipped cream bake for 90 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

After all of that, you discard the OJ?
21
Nov
2008
14:27
Posted by Kay (Permalink)

LOL I got:

Hot Pepper Sauce With Hot Pepper Sauce Dressing Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 110ml brandy
* 30ml hot pepper sauce
```
Instructions:
1. defrost the hot pepper sauce
2. add the hot pepper sauce to the saucepan
3. add the hot pepper sauce
4. eat the brandy
5. throw it all away
Yum.

I’m going to try this, but without the hot pepper sauce as I think it might be too spicy for me. ;)
21
Nov
2008
14:53

Posted by Mike Fishcake (Permalink)

Oh crikey… this actually made me laugh out loud. Brilliant, just brilliant. You’ll probably notice a jump in your stats because this is in the b3ta.com newsletter!
21
Nov
2008
16:35
Posted by M J (Permalink)

mmmmm,Lemonade Soup, just like Mom used to make.

Lemonade Soup Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 50g lard
* 150ml lemonade
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. fry the lard until browned
3. fry the lemonade until browned
4. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
21
Nov
2008
16:53

Posted by crushed (Permalink)

haha. This is great. Now I can become a fat fuck like Amirox!
21
Nov
2008
16:55

Posted by Allieloopy (Permalink)

Finally a recipe that I can follow.
21
Nov
2008
16:57
Posted by gourmand (Permalink)

This one is remarkably coherent… anyone care to attempt it?

Sprigs Of Asparagus Tart Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 30g bacon
* 90g chicken
* 10g pickle
* 5 sprigs of asparagus
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. grill the bacon
3. sauté the sprigs of asparagus
4. melt the sprigs of asparagus
5. rinse the pickle
6. put the chicken in the saucepan
7. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot
21
Nov
2008
17:18
Posted by Sounds good (Permalink)

Tabasco Sauce Crumble Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 30ml tabasco sauce
* 60g raisins
* 4 slices of bread
* 30ml essence of vanilla
* 5 carrots
```
Instructions:
1. stir-fry the carrots
2. discard the raisins
3. eat the carrots
4. barbeque the tabasco sauce
5. stir-fry the slices of bread
6. bring the tabasco sauce to the boil
7. fold in the tabasco sauce
8. mix the slices of bread in
9. put the essence of vanilla in the saucepan
  1. put everything in the blender
21
Nov
2008
17:21

Posted by MrMoose (Permalink)

“Grilled Red Wine”

Says it all really!
21
Nov
2008
17:27
Posted by MrMoose (Permalink)

Battered White Wine Vinegar Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 10g soft cheese
* 80ml white wine vinegar
* 110g mince
* 1 oranges
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. eat the oranges
3. eat the white wine vinegar
4. eat the mince
5. eat the soft cheese
6. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
Yum.

Bake??!! Bake what?! You’ve gone and eaten it all!
21
Nov
2008
17:40
Posted by Carrie (Permalink)

Pickle Surprise Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 80g chocolate
* 130ml hot pepper sauce
* 150g pickle
```
Instructions:
1. rinse the hot pepper sauce
2. melt the hot pepper sauce
3. throw the hot pepper sauce away
4. grill the pickle
5. defrost the chocolate
6. serve piping hot
That would be one hell of a surprise :-)
21
Nov
2008
17:41

Posted by End of Day: 21st November | Community Site News (Permalink)

[...] Right, I’m off to cook some Cucumber a la Beef. [...]
21
Nov
2008
17:57

Posted by n0ne (Permalink)

I challenge anyone to beat ‘Spiced Poached Lard’.
21
Nov
2008
17:58

Posted by HLin (Permalink)

I just got a recipe for “Cream And Cream Pudding”.
21
Nov
2008
18:06

Posted by Only marginally Coherant because hey - It’s Friday « questionable rationale (Permalink)

[...] The Random Recipe Generator which provided me with the following [...]
21
Nov
2008
18:21

Posted by pat (Permalink)

This is the best thing I have seen in a long while. had me crying.

Pizza Style Water Serves 4 You will need: 1 chillis 50ml greek yogurt 70g muslei 110ml water Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 210 C defrost the chillis grind the chillis fry the water put the chillis in the fridge to set put the water in the fridge for 2 minutes sprinkle the water over the top fry the chillis toast the greek yogurt toast the muslei bake for 30 minutes and serve hot

I just love this one for the title.
21
Nov
2008
18:22
Posted by Pete (Permalink)

I think mine trumps the onion in wine:

You will need:
```
* 80ml vinegar
* 110g lard
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. fry the vinegar
3. fry the lard until browned
4. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
21
Nov
2008
18:35

Posted by nihil (Permalink)

this might actually work: Lime Salsa Serves 1 You will need: 2 lettuces 1 lime 4 green peppers Instructions: slice the lettuces mix the lettuces in barbeque the lime fry the green peppers serve piping hot

Yum.
21
Nov
2008
19:13

Posted by Stu (Permalink)

Had to share this one.

Battered Water Serves 2 You will need: 100ml water 110g cornflour Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 220 C eat the water slice the cornflour bake for 40 minutes and serve hot Yum.
21
Nov
2008
19:54

Posted by cleek » Random Recipe Generator (Permalink)

[...] jamesoff.net » Random Recipe Generator gave me: Hot Pepper Sauce Pie Serves 2 You will [...]
21
Nov
2008
20:55
Posted by Lenka (Permalink)

It’s brilliant…I got:

Baked Whipped Cream Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 110ml white wine
* 60ml whipped cream
* 110ml hot pepper sauce
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. sauté the white wine
3. heat the white wine
4. sauté the whipped cream
5. toast the hot pepper sauce
6. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
21
Nov
2008
22:33

Posted by fg (Permalink)

this is quite literally the funniest thing on the internets. ACTUAL FACTUAL.
21
Nov
2008
22:54

Posted by The Four Day Work Week, Vol. 3 | Steady Burn (Permalink)

[...] Whip up some spiced poached iceberg lettuce [...]
21
Nov
2008
23:08
Posted by Jeff Shultz (Permalink)

Ooohkay - I think I agree with the last step of this recipe:

Spicy Chicken Cakes Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 100ml apple sauce
* 5 pork chops
* 5 sprigs of asparagus
* 120g chicken
```
Instructions:
1. fry the apple sauce until browned
2. discard the apple sauce
3. microwave the sprigs of asparagus
4. fry the chicken until browned
5. heat the sprigs of asparagus
6. lightly fry the chicken
7. add the chicken to the saucepan
8. flambe the sprigs of asparagus
9. put the sprigs of asparagus in the fridge to set
  1. put the pork chops in the saucepan
  2. order out
Yum.
21
Nov
2008
23:54

Posted by UncleBoogie (Permalink)

The one I got was wine and onions, and basically wound up with just wine.

My idea of a meal.:)
22
Nov
2008
00:36

Posted by mama’s sewing circus » Blog Archive » last minute Thanksgiving recipes (Permalink)

[...] you reload, a new recipe appears. Posted in good [...]
22
Nov
2008
00:41

Posted by Ulfgar (Permalink)

This is mine. Apparently you have to add the “exotic” sauce three times. I think all you get is fried sauce, diluted juice and warm lettuce. Orange Juice Mille Feuille Serves 1 You will need: 90ml orange juice 80ml hot pepper sauce 20ml exotic sauce 120g iceberg lettuce Instructions: microwave the exotic sauce blend with the exotic sauce mix the exotic sauce in saute the exotic sauce add the exotic sauce eat the hot pepper sauce rinse the orange juice defrost the iceberg lettuce enjoy
22
Nov
2008
00:41

Posted by portal8x0x (Permalink)

far out
22
Nov
2008
02:20

Posted by Shannon (Permalink)

This seems to be similar - you also get nothing. But it seems intentional, reading the last instruction…

Lemonade Mille Feuille Serves 1 You will need: 60ml lemonade 2 sheets of ricepaper Instructions: discard the sheets of ricepaper sift the lemonade order out
22
Nov
2008
04:27
Posted by sal (Permalink)

I got this… very tasty.. you should try it..

Sweet Chicken Wedges With Warm Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 40g chicken
* 3 packets of dry onion soup mix
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. stir-fry the chicken
3. put the packets of dry onion soup mix in the saucepan
4. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
22
Nov
2008
04:58
Posted by Aguy (Permalink)

Pickle Mini Roasties Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 140g rice
* 30ml hot pepper sauce
* 80g pickle
* 150ml tomato ketchup
```
Instructions:
1. toast the hot pepper sauce
2. put the hot pepper sauce in the fridge to set
3. sauté the rice
4. put the hot pepper sauce in the fridge for 2 minutes
5. eat the rice
6. lightly fry the hot pepper sauce
7. grill the pickle
8. throw the pickle away
9. microwave the tomato ketchup
  1. enjoy
22
Nov
2008
06:21
Posted by Becca (Permalink)

Lard Salsa Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 90g ham
* 110g lard
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. microwave the ham
3. discard the ham
4. sift the lard
5. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
22
Nov
2008
06:40

Posted by lolol (Permalink)

Water Salsa Serves 5 You will need: 140g basmati rice 90g pickle 150ml water 1 spring onions Instructions: microwave the basmati rice eat the basmati rice sift the spring onions discard the spring onions grill the water fry the pickle until browned throw it all away

Yum.

Insufficiently delicious? Reload the page for another
22
Nov
2008
07:29
Posted by saltywench (Permalink)

I got: Water With Plain Flour Dressing Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 60g plain flour
* 50ml water
* 40g raisins
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. barbeque the plain flour
3. mix the plain flour in
4. mix the plain flour in
5. spoon the plain flour onto a warmed plate
6. heat the plain flour in the saucepan
7. put the plain flour in the fridge to set
8. microwave the plain flour
9. throw the raisins away
  1. slice the water
  2. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
22
Nov
2008
07:36

Posted by Actual (Permalink)

This is fantastic.

I like it best when the recipe gets manic and insistently repeats an instruction three or four times at you. Also great is when you get the instruction to eat or throw away the main ingredient halfway through. Hahaha
22
Nov
2008
14:25

Posted by Matt (Permalink)

60ml soy sauce 1 oysters 100g beef Instructions: microwave the soy sauce melt the soy sauce throw the beef away eat the oysters serve piping hot

Don’t get it!

You told me to melt somthing liquidy

Eat my oysters

And through away beef!
22
Nov
2008
14:52
Posted by Moebius (Permalink)

This is the best one I’ve seen yet:

Lettuces Salad Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 2 lettuces
* 90ml essence of vanilla
```
Instructions:
1. put the essence of vanilla in the saucepan
2. heat the essence of vanilla
3. barbeque the lettuces
4. throw it all away
Yum.
22
Nov
2008
18:15

Posted by HappinessBug (Permalink)

Sheets Of Ricepaper Crumble Serves 4 You will need: 10g bacon 4 sheets of ricepaper Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 230 C toast the bacon bring the bacon to the boil stir the bacon add one tablespoon of the bacon heat the bacon fry the bacon discard the bacon rinse the sheets of ricepaper bake for 40 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

mmm BACONY!!!
22
Nov
2008
19:40
Posted by Chloe (Permalink)

Battered Oysters Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 140g muslei
* 5 lime
* 1 cloves of garlic
* 5 oysters
```
Instructions:
1. microwave the lime
2. bring the lime to the boil
3. fold in the lime
4. melt the lime
5. microwave the oysters
6. fry the cloves of garlic until browned
7. flip the cloves of garlic
8. put the oysters in the fridge to set
9. grill the muslei
  1. enjoy
Well I am pleasantly confused! :)
22
Nov
2008
19:52
Posted by George (Permalink)

The Passion of the Milk:

Battered Milk Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 10ml milk
* 4 sausages
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. sift the milk
3. microwave the milk
4. bring the milk to the boil
5. fold in the milk
6. slice the sausages
7. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
22
Nov
2008
21:11

Posted by Jim (Permalink)

Mine is a real winner!

Lemon Juice With Sheets Of Ricepaper Dressing Serves 3

You will need: 5 sheets of ricepaper 40ml lemon juice

Instructions: 1. throw the sheets of ricepaper away 2. toast the lemon juice 3. enjoy

Yum.

I particularly like step 1!
22
Nov
2008
22:53

Posted by Apollo (Permalink)

You might want to put a disclaimer somewhere saying something about “None of these recipes is intended to be created” or something before someone makes one and kills themselves with it.
23
Nov
2008
01:48
Posted by jimmy (Permalink)

This is the best recipe ever, as long as “toast” mean giving an inebriated salutation:

Rice Mini Roasties Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 150g rice
* 100ml brandy
* 110ml lemonade
```
Instructions:
1. fry the lemonade
2. toast the rice
3. toast the brandy
4. go down the pub
Yum.
23
Nov
2008
02:03

Posted by Carolyn (Permalink)

I love this recipe, primarily because it discards the onions, which is really all that should ever be done with them. :)
23
Nov
2008
02:47

Posted by Kimby (Permalink)

Hahaha! Next time I screw up dinner, I can blame this genererator!

Coffee Sandwiches, anyone?
23
Nov
2008
03:26
Posted by Anotherclown (Permalink)

Mine was equally useless Orange Juice And Essence Of Vanilla Pudding Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 150ml essence of vanilla
* 80ml orange juice
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. stir-fry the orange juice
3. throw the essence of vanilla away
4. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
23
Nov
2008
07:49
Posted by Yo ho ho (Permalink)

Here’s one:

Eggs With Eggs Mash Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 5 eggs
* 2 carrots
* 2 spoons of mayonnaise
* 100g rice
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. sauté the spoons of mayonnaise
3. throw the spoons of mayonnaise away
4. fry the rice
5. put the rice in the fridge to set
6. eat the rice
7. rinse the eggs
8. put the eggs in the fridge to set
9. lightly fry the eggs
  1. saut� the eggs
  2. whisk the eggs
  3. bring the eggs to the boil
  4. mix the eggs in
  5. flip the eggs
  6. lightly fry the eggs
  7. lightly fry the eggs
  8. whisk the carrots
  9. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
23
Nov
2008
13:00
Posted by Feef Lovecraft (Permalink)

Grilled Potatoes Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 1 potatoes
* 5 spring onions
```
Instructions:
1. eat the spring onions
2. microwave the potatoes
3. go down the pub
23
Nov
2008
14:38

Posted by Fonda Cox (Permalink)

Bloody hilarious.

I had sprouts a la mangoes!
23
Nov
2008
16:08

Posted by lp (Permalink)

Exotic Sauce Salad

Serves 5

You will need:

150ml cod liver oil 120g kidney beans 40ml exotic sauce

Instructions: 1. discard the cod liver oil 2. slice the exotic sauce 3. put the kidney beans in the saucepan 4. go down the pub

…go down the pub?! sounds about right…
23
Nov
2008
19:30
Posted by Henry Troup (Permalink)

Best instruction yet
```
rinse the water
```
Challenging!
23
Nov
2008
19:55

Posted by josh (Permalink)

dont care for mince meat. but the wine i’ll drink
24
Nov
2008
01:21
Posted by Olze (Permalink)

I lol’d :)

Whipped Cream With Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix Dressing Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 140ml whipped cream
* 30g chicken
* 20ml essence of vanilla
* 5 packets of dry onion soup mix
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. eat the chicken
3. stir-fry the whipped cream
4. add one tablespoon of the whipped cream
5. toast the packets of dry onion soup mix
6. defrost the essence of vanilla
7. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
24
Nov
2008
01:48
Posted by Stripe (Permalink)

Eggs Surprise Serves 5 You will need:
```
* 5 eggs
* 40ml soy sauce
* 20g chicken
* 30ml tomato ketchup
* 4 prawns
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. put the eggs in the saucepan
3. toast the soy sauce
4. slice the tomato ketchup
5. whisk the chicken
6. slice the prawns
7. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
24
Nov
2008
09:31
Posted by Zecc (Permalink)

Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 3 lime
* 50ml mint sauce
* 5 spoons of mayonnaise
* 4 cabbages
* 1 carrots
```
Instructions:
1. barbeque the cabbages
2. lightly fry the cabbages
3. spoon the cabbages onto a warmed plate
4. grind the cabbages
5. sauté the spoons of mayonnaise
6. add the spoons of mayonnaise to the saucepan
7. throw the spoons of mayonnaise away
8. discard the cabbages
9. toast the carrots
  1. spoon the carrots onto a warmed plate
  2. bring the carrots to the boil
  3. grind the carrots
  4. lightly fry the carrots
  5. toast the mint sauce
  6. defrost the lime
  7. order out
Yum.
24
Nov
2008
12:01

Posted by Random Recipe Generator (Permalink)

[...] Random Recipe Generator. Awesome. “melt milk. boil salt.” [...]
24
Nov
2008
13:43
Posted by rofl (Permalink)

You will need:
```
* 5 red onions
* 4 cloves of garlic
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. put the cloves of garlic in the saucepan
3. throw the red onions away
4. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
24
Nov
2008
14:26
Posted by Jonno (Permalink)

Here’s a cracking meal for two …

Oysters A La Muslei Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 90ml coffee
* 4 packets of dry onion soup mix
* 110g muslei
* 1 oysters
```
Instructions:
1. grill the muslei
2. melt the muslei
3. grill the oysters
4. microwave the coffee
5. toast the packets of dry onion soup mix
6. throw it all away
wait a second …… throw it all away? How does that serve two?!!?
24
Nov
2008
14:34
Posted by Randy (Permalink)

Tabasco Sauce And Tabasco Sauce Pudding Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 150ml essence of vanilla
* 100ml tabasco sauce
```
Instructions:
1. fry the essence of vanilla
2. put the tabasco sauce in the saucepan
3. enjoy
24
Nov
2008
15:06
Posted by Tzuruki (Permalink)

HA .. truth is i know someone who does eat this: Pinches Of Salt Salad Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 150ml tomato ketchup
* 4 pinches of salt
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 230 C
2. sauté the tomato ketchup
3. put the tomato ketchup in the fridge for 2 minutes
4. heat the tomato ketchup
5. heat the tomato ketchup in the saucepan
6. whisk the tomato ketchup
7. whisk the pinches of salt
8. bake for 30 minutes and serve hot
24
Nov
2008
15:54
Posted by Zenfu (Permalink)

This has made me laugh so much I was literally crying. People now think I am insane.

This is a good one:
```
* 110ml cream
* 80g anchovies
```
Instructions:
1. defrost the cream
2. throw the anchovies away
3. serve piping hot
24
Nov
2008
18:27

Posted by Dave H (Permalink)

It’s spelt, “Muesli”.
24
Nov
2008
19:57

Posted by random : LikeItHateIt (Permalink)

[...] This random recipe generator, is truly random, following the recipes has proved to be a great way to lose weight. Just keep on hitting the title bar for new and interesting combinations of ingredients, methods and cooking styles. [...]
24
Nov
2008
21:10

Posted by Ben (Permalink)

ha-ha. gross :P
24
Nov
2008
23:57

Posted by StrangeLady (Permalink)

I got this one.

Grilled Cous Cous Serves 1 You will need: 100ml milk 80g cous cous 110g toffee 10ml soy sauce 1 oxo cubes Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 200 C toast the cous cous add the cous cous put the soy sauce in the saucepan barbeque the milk put the oxo cubes in the saucepan barbeque the toffee bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

It was the line “barbeque the milk” that made the soda come out my nose.
24
Nov
2008
23:57

Posted by Larry (Permalink)

But just think of the marvelous aroma your kitchen would be filled with…!
25
Nov
2008
00:47

Posted by Ronnie (Permalink)

Cod Liver Oil Sandwich Serves 3 You will need: 70g soft cheese 150ml cod liver oil Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 210 C slice the cod liver oil throw the soft cheese away bake for 50 minutes and serve hot

. . . how does one slice cod liver oil?
25
Nov
2008
12:50
Posted by Kaelosk (Permalink)

Step 9 is all important!

Battered Lemon Juice Serves 5 You will need:
```
* 5 onions
* 4 sweetcorn
* 30g noodles
* 80ml lemon juice
* 5 carrots
```
Instructions:
1. fry the lemon juice until browned
2. discard the lemon juice
3. microwave the onions
4. fry the sweetcorn until browned
5. sift the carrots
6. fry the onions
7. grind the carrots
8. grill the noodles
9. throw it all away
Yum.
25
Nov
2008
14:26
Posted by Gabriel (Permalink)

Well, at least mine COULD be edible:

Oysters A La White Wine Vinegar Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 80ml white wine vinegar
* 4 oysters
```
Instructions:
1. discard the white wine vinegar
2. grill the oysters
3. serve piping hot
25
Nov
2008
17:39
Posted by zmama (Permalink)

lol… this is mine. Love the ‘Yum’ at the end!

Sweet Lemonade Wedges With Warm Lemonade Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 80ml lemonade
* 110ml lemon juice
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 220 C
2. sauté the lemon juice
3. grill the lemonade
4. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
25
Nov
2008
19:37

Posted by Bob (Permalink)

Sausages Melt Bagels Serves 4 You will need: 140ml water 80g anchovies 3 sausages 5 lemons Instructions: stir-fry the lemons fry the anchovies rinse the water discard the sausages go down the pub

Yum.

This is excellent!
25
Nov
2008
23:34
Posted by Steve W (Permalink)

Chillis Melt Bagels Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 50g ham
* 5 chillis
* 1 sheets of ricepaper
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. barbeque the ham
3. fry the ham
4. heat the ham in the saucepan
5. discard the chillis
6. flambe the ham
7. stir the ham
8. defrost the sheets of ricepaper
9. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
26
Nov
2008
00:44
Posted by Ashton (Permalink)

Bananas A La Bananas Serves 5 You will need:
```
* 90ml horseradish sauce
* 2 eggs
* 1 bananas
* 2 prawns
* 150g anchovies
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. whisk the prawns
3. stir the prawns
4. saute the prawns
5. toast the eggs
6. lightly fry the eggs
7. toast the horseradish sauce
8. put the bananas in the saucepan
9. spoon the horseradish sauce onto a warmed plate
  1. barbeque the anchovies
  2. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
26
Nov
2008
01:35

Posted by סוכן תרבות - מתכון אקראי » (Permalink)

[...] בתפזורת. בכל פעם שנכנסים לאתר המנוע מסדר אותם בצורה אקראית וכך יוצאים צירופים קולינריים מעניינים [...]
26
Nov
2008
09:30

Posted by Il generatore online di ricette random - Noantri (Permalink)

[...] osate creare nuovi accostamenti e non vi riesce semplice allontanarvi dalle ricette standard, il generatore di ricette online è quello che fa al caso vostro: questo sito mischia in un’unica ricetta ingredienti [...]
26
Nov
2008
14:44

Posted by Genaratori random di ricette e status per Facebook « Davide Vitellaro (Permalink)

[...] Forse è per questo motivo che trovo geniale il sito che vi sto per proporre. Si tratta del “Random Recipe Generator” ovvero il generatore di ricette [...]
26
Nov
2008
19:16

Posted by Quick, delicious, random « Fancy Notions (Permalink)

[...] let’s pull it together. Maybe the Random Recipe Generator can help: Chocolate Tart Serves [...]
26
Nov
2008
20:50
Posted by Perry A (Permalink)

Sprouts Mille Feuille

Serves 4

You will need: * 2 eggs * 70ml horseradish sauce * 10g sprouts * 100g bacon

Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. slice the horseradish sauce
3. eat the bacon
4. heat the horseradish sauce
5. add the horseradish sauce
6. heat the horseradish sauce in the saucepan
7. add the horseradish sauce
8. discard the horseradish sauce
9. sift the sprouts
10. microwave the eggs
11. bake for 90 minutes and serve hot
hahahahahahahaha!!!
26
Nov
2008
22:01

Posted by Random Recipes « Ærchies Archive - The Curmudgeon’s Magazine (Permalink)

[...] Here is a sample, from the random recipe generator. [...]
27
Nov
2008
02:11
Posted by d (Permalink)

Water Supreme Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 50ml water
* 20ml greek yogurt
* 3 onions
* 20g iceberg lettuce
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. discard the greek yogurt
3. sift the water
4. stir-fry the onions
5. mix the onions in
6. put the onions in the fridge for 2 minutes
7. put the iceberg lettuce in the saucepan
8. bake for 20 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
27
Nov
2008
02:25

Posted by ridin’ with the king » need a quick recipe for thanksgiving? (Permalink)

[...] stuck for something new and creative to serve with your executed bird tomorrow? Have no fear, the Random Recipe Generator saves the day! Disclaimer: Have your metric conversion chart [...]
27
Nov
2008
13:32

Posted by lublog » Random recipes (Permalink)

[...] Random recipe generator [...]
28
Nov
2008
23:46
Posted by R Colebrook (Permalink)

I’ll fully agree with point 7

Soy Sauce Salad Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 20ml soy sauce
* 110ml red wine
* 110ml tomato ketchup
```
Instructions:
1. fry the red wine
2. lightly fry the red wine
3. flambe the red wine
4. heat the red wine in the saucepan
5. stir-fry the soy sauce
6. eat the tomato ketchup
7. order out
30
Nov
2008
21:15

Posted by uplah (Permalink)

Hehe, after all that…

Grapes Mini Roasties Serves 1 You will need: 110g pasta 50g grapes 110g chocolate 150ml tabasco sauce 30g cheese Instructions: defrost the grapes mix the grapes in microwave the pasta microwave the grapes fry the chocolate stir-fry the cheese melt the chocolate fry the tabasco sauce until browned throw it all away

Yum.
1
Dec
2008
11:15

Posted by Muses of Megret » Monday’s List o’ Links (Permalink)

[...] - Speaking of recipes, here’s a fun (but not serious) Random Recipe Generator. [...]
2
Dec
2008
02:53

Posted by Dinner Suggestions?? - Stockyard Horse Discussion Forums (Permalink)

[...] I asked my OH what he wanted the other night… he emailed me back this link… lol press F5 to get a new suggestion…. jamesoff.net Random Recipe Generator [...]
3
Dec
2008
15:47

Posted by Ben (Permalink)

This one could be possible, but not very good. “Pizza-style??!”

Pizza Style Cod Liver Oil — Serves 1 You will need: 50ml cod liver oil,150ml water, Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 230 C,fry the cod liver oil until browned,sautee the cod liver oil,fold in the cod liver oil,defrost the water. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
4
Dec
2008
01:44

Posted by thrilldo (Permalink)

Zingy Slices Of Bread And Slices Of Bread Soup Serves 3 You will need: 10g port 130ml mint sauce 4 slices of bread Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 230 C defrost the slices of bread put the slices of bread in the fridge to set throw the slices of bread away defrost the port add one tablespoon of the port put the mint sauce in the saucepan bake for 60 minutes and serve hot

Yum.

not really that much bread
5
Dec
2008
04:38
Posted by Mike (Permalink)

Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix With Packets Of Dry Onion Soup Mix Crust Serves 1 You will need:
```
* 2 packets of dry onion soup mix
* 3 leeks
* 4 onions
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. microwave the packets of dry onion soup mix
3. whisk the leeks
4. flambe the leeks
5. discard the leeks
6. lightly fry the packets of dry onion soup mix
7. discard the onions
8. bake for 60 minutes and serve hot
9
Dec
2008
19:42
Posted by Andy Baio (Permalink)

Lard Pie Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 2 spoons of mayonnaise
* 70g lard
* 150ml hot pepper sauce
```
Instructions:
1. defrost the spoons of mayonnaise
2. fry the spoons of mayonnaise
3. mix the spoons of mayonnaise in
4. fry the spoons of mayonnaise
5. add the spoons of mayonnaise to the saucepan
6. melt the spoons of mayonnaise
7. blend with the spoons of mayonnaise
8. sprinkle the spoons of mayonnaise over the top
9. mix the spoons of mayonnaise in
  1. whisk the lard
  2. bring the lard to the boil
  3. add the lard
  4. rinse the hot pepper sauce
  5. throw it all away
Yum.
10
Dec
2008
14:37

Posted by » Bookmarks for December 9th - Michael Zehrer (Permalink)

[...] jamesoff.net » Random Recipe Generator - Random Recipe Generator [...]
12
Dec
2008
07:04

Posted by Reseptejä huumorintajuisille « eAineistot oppimisen resurssi (Permalink)

[...] pahemmin ruoasta välitä (kunhan sitä on riittävästi), joten ainoat reseptihakuni rajoittuvat yhteen sivustoon. Alla resepti jota aion kokeilla tänä vuonna. Tai sitten en. Red Onions Melt Bagels Serves [...]
13
Dec
2008
18:43
Posted by Jones (Permalink)

Green Peppers Mille Feuille Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 10ml cream
* 4 green peppers
* 4 bananas
* 1 slices of bread
* 130g pickle
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. sauté the green peppers
3. whisk the pickle
4. add the pickle to the saucepan
5. add one tablespoon of the pickle
6. flip the green peppers
7. lightly fry the green peppers
8. heat the pickle in the saucepan
9. melt the pickle
  1. put the slices of bread in the saucepan
  2. saut� the slices of bread
  3. defrost the bananas
  4. fold in the slices of bread
  5. barbeque the cream
  6. bake for 80 minutes and serve hot
Yum.

I’m dying =)))))
13
Dec
2008
18:57

Posted by Jones (Permalink)

hahahahaha I am dying, crying…my stomach is hurting terribly and not from the food itself =))))))). it’s just like, have fun with your food, then give up and go eat out =)))) or just throw away the main ingredient XD rinse the water =))))
16
Dec
2008
20:50

Posted by Water (Permalink)

Potatoes Surprise Serves 5

You will need: 2 potatoes 30ml red wine

Instructions: pre-heat the oven to 220 C discard the potatoes discard the red wine bake for 20 minutes and serve hot

The surprise? No potatoes!
16
Dec
2008
22:19

Posted by Rhialto (Permalink)

“[B}arbecue is spelled “barbecue”, not “barbeque”; the former would be a French word and pronounced quite differently.

If you really insist on using q-s in the word while retaining the correct pronunciation, you’d need to spell something like “barbequeue”.
16
Dec
2008
22:21

Posted by Rhialto (Permalink)

(eh, the latter)
21
Dec
2008
08:46
Posted by Alban (Permalink)

Water Stew Serves 5 You will need:
```
* 50ml water
* 120g cornflour
* 5 apples
```
Instructions:
1. eat the water
2. discard the apples
3. stir-fry the cornflour
4. enjoy
Yum.
21
Dec
2008
11:01

Posted by » Random cooking may be best (Permalink)

[...] random recipes“. JamesOff is a systems engineer in the South West of England who created a Random Recipe Generator. Merely reload the page to get another [...]
21
Dec
2008
15:37
Posted by anon (Permalink)

Cream With Bacon Dressing Serves 5 You will need:
```
* 100ml white wine vinegar
* 100ml cream
* 150g bacon
* 30g cheese
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 180 C
2. throw the cream away
3. eat the cheese
4. eat the white wine vinegar
5. slice the bacon
6. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
bacon’s gonna be really really well done after 70 minutes of baking
21
Dec
2008
18:02
Posted by Guess (Permalink)

Ham With Ham Dressing Serves 3 You will need:
```
* 1 lettuces
* 40g ham
* 1 sheets of ricepaper
```
Instructions:
1. fry the lettuces until browned
2. put the ham in the saucepan
3. melt the ham
4. microwave the ham
5. add one tablespoon of the lettuces
6. toast the sheets of ricepaper
7. order out
22
Dec
2008
01:26

Posted by angryjohnny (Permalink)

my recipe

Chicken Salsa Serves 1

You will need: 150g sprouts 120g chicken Instructions: 1. discard the sprouts 2. put the chicken in the saucepan 3. serve piping hot

Mmm Mmm good
22
Dec
2008
01:39
Posted by Supakitsune (Permalink)

“Battered Soy Sauce Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 90g porridge oats
* 150ml soy sauce
```
Instructions:
1. barbeque the porridge oats
2. discard the porridge oats
3. fry the soy sauce
4. serve chilled
Yum.”

“Yum” indeed… O_o
22
Dec
2008
02:05

Posted by mitch (Permalink)

I think the “a la” routine needs a duplication check. I got: Sheets Of Ricepaper A La Sheets Of Ricepaper
22
Dec
2008
09:43
Posted by Mikemc (Permalink)

A recipie for any bachelor:

Strawberries With Strawberries Dressing Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 110g strawberries
* 140ml orange juice
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 200 C
2. stir-fry the strawberries
3. throw the orange juice away
4. bake for 50 minutes and serve hot
Yum.
22
Dec
2008
09:48
Posted by Mikemc (Permalink)

Looks like we’re eating air tonight hahaha!

Sweet Greek Yogurt Wedges With Warm Ham Serves 2 You will need:
```
* 110g ham
* 140ml greek yogurt
```
Instructions:
1. sauté the ham
2. stir the ham
3. saute the ham
4. saute the ham
5. sauté the greek yogurt
6. throw it all away
22
Dec
2008
20:13
Posted by Jamie (Permalink)

Pizza Style Mince Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 20g butter
* 4 lemons
* 80ml soy sauce
* 80g mince
```
Instructions:
1. pre-heat the oven to 210 C
2. sift the mince
3. flambe the mince
4. sift the soy sauce
5. add the mince to the saucepan
6. barbeque the butter
7. microwave the lemons
8. bake for 70 minutes and serve hot
Yum.

I love step 4.
23
Dec
2008
13:06

Posted by the good old days » Blog Archive » Best online recipe source EVER (Permalink)

[...] of you who are fans of my cooking disasters (and/or successes), you absolutely have to visit the Random Recipe Generator. I laughed so hard I hiccuped. Bananas And Bananas Pudding Serves 4 You will [...]
23
Dec
2008
15:57

Posted by » Plutôt le hasard que ma cuisine (Permalink)

[...] JamesOff est un ingénieur système du Sud Ouest de l’Angleterre qui a créé un Random Recipe Generator (Générateur aléatoire de recette de cuisine). Rechargez la page, simplement pour avoir une autre [...]
26
Dec
2008
15:16

Posted by me (Permalink)

Zingy Lemons And Butter Soup Serves 1 You will need: 130g butter 3 lemons Instructions: fry the butter until browned flip the butter add the butter to the saucepan heat the butter in the saucepan discard the butter sift the lemons go down the pub

Yum. I like step 7 best!
28
Dec
2008
04:26
Posted by Lozfan (Permalink)

Here’s mine: Zingy Water And Plain Flour Soup Serves 4 You will need:
```
* 80ml water
* 30g plain flour
```
Instructions:
1. throw the plain flour away
2. grill the water
3. throw it all away
Yay! Nothing!!

jamesoff.net

Navigate

About

Random Recipe Generator

134 comments on “Random Recipe Generator”

Add a comment

Links

Search

Feeds

Tags